Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Having to work at a day job

I found a blog post going over how most artists need to work at a job unrelated to their craft in order to support themselves. http://joannemattera.blogspot.com/2009/02/cotter-its-day-job-time-in-america-and.html

The post made by S. Dineen expresses how I basically feel about this predicament. This is what they said-

"Its hard not to get really angry about the "OK" comment. It is the worst feeling to want so badly to spend your days making the work that means something to you while you are trapped selling shoes, framing pictures to match people's couches, selling chimney sweeps over the phone to people who don't have chimneys, working as a gallery assistant for someone who blows a gasket every time you have a question about the 1980s computer system he refuses to update, serving obese tourists large quantities of fried seafood, cleaning these same tourists' toilets, and maybe worst of all using sponges in the shapes of hydrangas and leaves to paint the most hideous pottery for again these same tourists to put in their suitcases. (Sorry, I didn't participate in the older post about jobs). The years tick by and resentment builds. Its demoralizing and humiliating. Little by little you choose what you are willing to put up with, keeping an eye on the prize of eventually spending ALL of your days making the work you NEED to make.
The person who really thinks its "OK" for artists to have a day job has obviously never been in our position."

Lady Xoc posted this statement further down the page-

"You needn't know all the jobs I've had; not one of them matters, because they are a painful distraction from my real work. And yes, I'm a quick study also and way too many years were squandered doing high-priced babysitting for idiots, but I had rent to pay. There is no safety net when you are a perpetual freelancer, adjunct or whatever. Not only that, there is not even an employer to pay half of your Social Security contribution. I often tell people that being an artist is like having a handicapped child. It is not something you choose. It is not for sissies. You have to begin by acknowledging the reality and then providing for it in a material way, protecting it and nurturing it despite being hungry, cold and scared or having your brains bleed from the boredom of giving up 10-12 hours of your day to some exercise in frustration for the sake of a paycheck.

What Tony said: "Working practice is part of the work and immediately you start letting it drop you risk much more than an interruption" resonates with me. The real work of my life only grows when I am not distracted by the demands of a day job.

What S. Dineen said: "The years tick by and resentment builds." SO TRUE. Its hard to maintain a creative spirit when I count up all the time I could have been putting into my work. But then, to succumb to negativity is not an option. Staying strong is the biggest challenge now. Community helps. As does intelligent, informed discourse. Thank you all."

I feel the same way. I resent having to work at my job, mostly because it sucks up so much time that could be spent working on my drawings. I wish I could just work my ass off for a few hours a week and get the same pay as I do now working several hours several days a week. But that's just not how it works. I don't know why the hell not... it's humiliating to waste so much of your life away doing a mediocre job that brings nothing to you or to anyone else except a paycheck.

Unfortunately, most people don't see anything wrong with this. It's difficult trying to explain my frustration to the people in my life and their response is either a snub or a roll of the eye. How dare I not enjoy my job... don't you know how many people dream about making smoothies to idiot customers that treat you like some sort of failure? Yaaay for me.

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